Gretchen turned me from a hater to a lover. What greater tribute can I give than that? For years, pre-Gretchen, I urged co-op members not to get naked-neck chickens. No, no, no—anything but a turken. From day one, she changed all that. She drew me in and I couldn’t stop staring at her. Months later, when flock would come running toward me, I only had eyes for her. She stood out—glorious naked neck and all. But it wasn’t just her grotesquely gorgeous appearance: Gretchen was a curious, expressive, bold, and endearing chicken. I’ll always remember her.

Ok So maybe some of these are more like country blues but here they all are. Next step: lyrics.

“My baby flew the coop and ended up in noodle soup”
“Sunrise ain’t worth a cock a doo”
“My comb is a flop and my eggs won’t drop”
“When you flew the flock you made me a lonely cock”
“My legs so skinny, my butt so big”…
My wattles won’t wiggle no more”
“I’m molting and I look like Hell,”
“You cock a doodle do me so wrong”
“I’m all cooped up”
“Ain’t a drop in my shrunken crop”
“Don’t leave me cause I’m molting.”
“I cocka a doodle don’t”
“All you left me was feathers and fertilizer”
“When you left the coop you made this cock droop”
“That hen’s house ain’t no place for chickens”
“I’m to chicken to love love love you”
“I’m a rooster but I lost my strut”
“You flew the coop now all that’s left me is stinky poop”
“It might be the dust mites”
“My cloaca burns for you”
“I’m so angry I could molt”
“Nobody mounts me no mo”
“If I could just kiss your cloaca again”
“Feel like I been molting all my life”
“I’m broody and I haven’t laid for weeks”
“I got a sad sad tail”
“The Andelusian Blues”

Definitely Country/Western
“I got spurs but I can’t ride”
“Home on the free range”
“I’m so lonesome I could fly”
“You keep pluck pluck plucking at my heart”