Mimicking the national election, Lucky Cluck averted a huge disaster by not electing two republican candidates to run the cooperative. Truly Lucky Cluck could have met its “end of days” on the night when hopefuls for President and Vice President laid down their platform at a debate in front of a group of Lucky Cluck Members and friends. It was a night to remember. Dug Grafe came onto the scene looking quite “Presidential” according to debate moderator Ram. Mary, a friend of Lucky Cluck Farm and the mother of a member, remarked that Dug looked handsome in his suit. Thank goodness good looks and phony charm don’t stand a chance of winning among informed voters looking for substance. Dug was admittably handsome, smooth, charming, and an accomplished drinker of warm, cheap beer. But he was nothing compared to his running mate, Sarah Pullet.

Ms. Pullet stunned the crowd when she emerged from the depths of Ram’s bedroom wearing black pumps and toting a BB-gun meant, one can only assume, to pop the head off of a rogue chicken or a liberal owner! Initially I was rendered speechless upon seeing the visage of Ms. Pullet as were many members of Lucky Cluck. She was a mesmerizing starlet and I did want to hear what she had to say. She wasted no time in laying out the heart of the strategy for Dug and her…”Let me get down to the issues” she patronizingly stated “Dug can see the coop from his house.” The crowd went wild and my running mate and I could only watch in almost stunned silence as a nightmarish scene unfolded where Dug and Ms. Pullet claimed they were qualified to run Lucky Cluck because they were mavericks; and that from now on only female members of Lucky Cluck would clean the coop as that was “women’s work;” and for some reason unknown to me still they drank beer as evidence that they were like Joe the Plumber. They exclaimed they would spend resources defeating an axis of evil which consisted of raccoons, feral cats, and “something else” that Dug could not remember. Appallingly they said they were developing a new feed that would be cheaper than anything currently on the market for chickens and it would become the new feed for Lucky Cluck hens. If it worked they touted that the feed would increase egg production and decrease membership cost. The last straw was when Dug brandished a dull and rusty ax that would be used to kill any wanton hen. Ms. Pullet had much to say and after watching her at work I do have to admit that the difference between a pit bull and Ms. Pullet was lipstick! Thank goodness that hope and chicken freedom prevailed at the election and these two nutcases only garnered three votes.

Here are the riddles from the 2008 Lucky Cluck Farms Party!
(Answers at the end of the post)

1.
Don’t ask if I’m sick
Don’t call me a dick
Don’t say I’m a turkey
Don’t feed me beef jerky
Don’t run or hide ‘til May
I’M SUPPOSED TO LOOK THIS WAY!

2.
Rhode Islands are red
Andalusians are blue
Rocks are barred
And these are too

3.
I’m kind of a Dorking
My tail keeps forking
I’m part red and part blue
I’m bearded and muffed and feather-toed too
I’m from places both near and far
And I’m not quite sure who my parents are

4.
I ain’t lyin’
These fish are flyin’
Those birds are terns
These deer are ferns
Those bears go clammin
These chicks are salmon

5.
Old English are wattled
Javas are mottled
Jerseys are giant
Buffs are compliant
But the strangest bird in this place
Is the big black bird with the big white face

1. Turken
2. Dominique
3. Crossbreed
4. Faverolle
5. White-faced Spanish

No I’m not talking about Barack Obama, aren’t we tired of him yet? Okay, I admit that I couldn’t get enough election news before the election and I’m having a hard time weening myself off it it now. I’ll just say that I am so very proud of America for electing Obama to lead our country…thank you America.

But you aren’t reading this to hear about the national election…afterall “All Politics Is Local.” Well Lucky Cluck Farms, for the first time in its history, has a President and a Vice President. On the eve of November 1, 2008 in the small coastal town of Newport, 28 chicken owners (along with a few wanna be chicken owners) amassed and cast their vote in favor of Dawn (President) and Eli (V.P.), two outstanding candidates running on a Green Party platform. Dawn and Eli ran on a platform that supports chicken rights and chicken owner rights. They promised to keep the pastures of Lucky Cluck green and full of happy chickens that get to run around all day doing what chickens love to do…pluck worms from the soil, scratch in leaf litter, soak up the ray’s of the sun, and bathe in a pile of dirt. They assured all members that no Lucky Cluck chicken would be culled without first getting the permission of the owner and that each member could come and visit his/her chicken at any time and they encouraged members to spread the word about the benefits of owning chickens. And finally they supported adding more members to Lucky Cluck Farms including Eli who still doesn’t have a chicken of his own.